After a long hard day at work, and all the demands of life it's easy to come home and run to the television, internet or the man cave. You rush through the door seeking solace. You're greeted at the door only to find the house is messy, dinner isn't made, the kids are fighting, and your sweetheart is pulling her hair out.
You pass her silently, she gives you the familiar glare, you brace yourself for what's coming next. You quicken your pace hoping you can get past her without a fight and she starts in with her demands.
She insists she's tired, and she needs help with the kids, dinner and cleaning house. You look at her and wonder silently "what have you done all day?"
Grudgingly, you round up the kids and demand they start picking up their stuff. They ignore you!
You raise your voice, but they persist. You become impatient and mom steps in and that's when the fighting begins. And you know you're not getting sex tonight again.
What would you do to change this story? For many families this is the daily cycle of crazy. What's insane is not the fighting. It's the family that gets stuck in the familiar groove and it keeps playing out like a broken record.
Healthy, empathetic communication is the key to lasting relationships. What do you do when you can't get past this broken cycle? First, husband - check yourself at the door. As a man I know the daily grind of work takes it's toll. Keep in mind if you're not ready to walk through the door to face the mess you need to find a way to be prepared.
For you busy mom who wants to just go to the beach or the mall to get away from it all - I get it! Vacation's are nice, a break is needed and you're tired. So, how do you juggle the demands and plug into your guys heart without passing out at the drop of your head to the pillow?
The answer is calm communication and preparation. First of all it's not to difficult to check your emotions. Before you engage each other - check with yourself to see how you are feeling and say it out loud to yourself. Then decide how you want to feel and make the change. It sounds easy - it is - then why don't we do it? Because it's not natural for us to ask ourselves how we are feeling. More often then not the demands cause us to pop the cork and we just go off!
So the next time you find yourself in this situation. Just check in with yourself. "How do I feel right now?" Call out the emotion, give it a name. Then say how you want to be when you get home, or how you want to present yourself when he comes through the door. Surprise each other - help each other and have fantastic sex afterward.
For more fun healthy communication tips and to find Clarity Beyond Crazy please visit my website www.vinzeeland.com and connect with me at the Start Here page for an Initial Breakthrough Session.